I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
