i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
