Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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