It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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