There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
