He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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