Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
