if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
