ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
