He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
