Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
