Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
