I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
