I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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