White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
