Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
