I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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