Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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