would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
