Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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