time to smoke my breakfast
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the high leading the old right now
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
There are leaves in my underwear?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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