how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'm both gender and math confused
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
