I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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