I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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