Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
