Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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