remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
