I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
