I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
