umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
