Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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