I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
