Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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