How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
