It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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