There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
We don't watch enough power rangers
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
