Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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