I bet he comes in French.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
