For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
