now i know why i became what i already was.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
