why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We left the knife in your bed.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
