this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize