Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
