Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
