what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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