Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
