I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Randomize
