Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
