I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
