ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
