So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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