and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
