Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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