Sry I called you an 8
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
