Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
