I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
