I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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