Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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