I don't think brook has ever known best
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
