nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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