Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
